The 6-week checkup
For most pregnancies, you will see your provider somewhere around 12 + visits over your first three trimesters. After you have given birth, there is typically just one visit scheduled in the fourth trimester… the 6-week checkup. This is known as the visit where your provider will give you the “green light” to resume sexual intercourse/vaginal penetration. Some new parents may feel excited to be able to resume, while many are not ready. Most cis-het women may not be ready until closer to six months-two plus years. So, while you may be given the green light, this does not mean you should feel pressured or ready. In fact, engaging in intercourse or penetration too soon can lead to significant health risks like postpartum sepsis or not giving your body enough time to heal between pregnancies.
Reconnecting
For a lot of new parents, trying to reconnect comes after a full day of giving your all to a little human who needs your touch, attention, and loving energy. Finding time for yourself and/or your partner is important. Babies need to be in a loving home, so sometimes you will need to make space for your own pleasure and/or your partner’s. Some activities to increase reconnecting with your postpartum self include: self pleasure, yoga, movement, and dance - hopefully, if you have a partner, they can make space for you to do this. “Sex” does not mean intimacy and “intimacy” does not mean sex. Some ideas to increase intimacy are making eye contact, expressing gratitude and dancing together. For more ideas, check out PBC’s postpartum intimacy module in our Childbirth Education class!
Bodies
It is ok and normal to grieve your pre-pregnancy body! AND your body just did an incredible thing. Breasts may have felt sexual prior to pregnancy and birth due to hundreds of nerve endings located in them. During postpartum, they can become sore, engorged and simply a source of nutrition for your baby. It is very common to feel “touched out.” If you have a partner who desires physical intimacy, they may need to adapt to your baby needing your skin-to-skin contact. You also may experience some pain with intercourse or penetration. If so, please check out our community resources tab to explore pelvic floor specialist options.
The Takeaway
Start talking about and thinking about your sex life and intimacy now. It is ok to not feel ready to engage in intercourse or penetration. Practice building a good foundation for when you may need to get creative to maintain a loving home that allows your baby to feel secure, trust, emotionally attach, and self-soothe. Check out PBC’s community resources tab for therapists who can hold space for this journey.
- Shannon Skjerseth, PBC Intern