I can’t believe this is an actual thing, but I felt the need to address the recent reports about Meghan Markle (The Duchess of Sussex) acting like a “birth brat”. Take, for example, this misogynistic and demeaning article by Fox News about how she’s “shunning” the Queen and “breaking tradition…AGAIN!” Or save yourself some time and don’t read it so they get less coverage for being so out of tune. This type of language is dangerous for birthing mothers around the world, as it assumes you are obligated to birth a certain way and do not have the right to challenge it. If you do challenge it, you will be publicly shamed, belittled, and mocked.
Meghan is the first royal mother who has decided not to birth her baby in the Lindo Wing at St. Mary’s Hospital. GASP! How could she?! She actually doesn’t even live in London anymore, so she felt safer staying close to home and birthing near Windsor instead. Also, she has requested that no photos be taken immediately after giving birth. “But, it’s her royal DUTY to share her offspring with the world!” Because, every mom wants to have to do THIS right after bringing a human into the world! ———————————>
I could say so much about how annoying all of this is, but the point I want to focus on is this: AUTONOMY IN BIRTH.
Whether you’re the Queen of Genovia or the sole inhabitant of Buford, WY, you have the right to birth however you want! You can birth at home, in a hospital, or in a cave in Alaska. You can have a midwife, a doctor, or a purple-haired shaman attend your birth. You can have a natural birth or a medicated birth. Gosh, you could charter an airplane and have David Attenborough narrate your whole labor while Harrison Ford flies the plan and Oprah goes sky diving. The point is, you have the RIGHT to have whatever birth you want. It is important to do your research, understand risks and benefits, and become well-informed about your chosen preferences. But you, and Meghan Markle, are not obligated to birth any way other than the way that feels right to you.
We live in a culture of “white coat syndrome” and “popular opinion”, where the mother’s birth instincts are completely pushed aside in favor of blanket treatments and social norms. Breaking tradition, asking a lot of questions, and advocating for yourself and your baby has now been labeled “difficult” or “combative”. I’ve actually had clients tell me their midwife became defensive when they asked questions about a possible induction. And another say they were lectured for being “irresponsible” when questioning the needs for antibiotics just because their water had broken. How have we gotten to this place? The place where a woman asking basic questions about her treatment is viewed as the enemy? I can only imagine the amount of questions that are asked at a vasectomy appointment…
Meghan Markle has planned a birth that makes HER feel comfortable. She’ll be using HypnoBirthing, a Doula, and a Midwife, all of which have been shown to help lower intervention rates and reduce pain. Mothers who feel unobserved and less pressured are shown to have shorter, easier births, so her plan to have her baby out of the public eye is a HEALTHY one. She has rights, and so do you. I hope some day soon we’ll start treating birthing mothers as the authority in their births. Anything else is simply undermining natural instincts and inherently bad for the continuation of our species. I hope this inspires you to ADVOCATE for your rights and the rights of your baby, TRUST your birthing instincts, and say a proud NO THANK YOU to anything that doesn’t feel right to you. Kudos to the Duchess for owning her birth and her autonomy. No matter what path her birthing takes, she can take pride in the fact that she’s setting a new standard of power for women all over the world!
- Katy Iengo, HBCE, CD, Owner Peaceful Mama Birthing